


Jack Spicer, Evil Emperor of Darkness - the making of

by orphan_account



Category: Xiaolin Showdown (Cartoon)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-15
Updated: 2012-05-15
Packaged: 2017-11-05 10:38:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/405483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How *did* Jack become the Evil Emperor of Darkness in s3e12? The made-up deleted scenes, where you 'know' what happens to the characters... crack. Fun. No seriousness in this whatsoever. At all. Have fun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jack Spicer, Evil Emperor of Darkness - the making of

Fandom: Xiaolin Showdoan  
Spoilers: not anymore. Everything happened that could happen (so far).  
Characters: all the main cast is here, with the exception of dojo and fung.  
Disclaimer: i can't believe this is necessary.. not mine, never was never will be, borrowed it for some fun, not making any money.  
Summary: How *did* Jack become the Evil Emperor of Darkness in s3e12? The made-up deleted scenes, where you 'know' what happens to the characters... crack. Fun. No seriousness in this whatsoever. At all. Have fun.

I came up with this when I saw the penultimate episode of XS. Seriously, this is one question no one seemed to ask. At all. Not even in the second part of the final episode.

 

***

 

“Jack Spicer owns a prison?! HE should be in a prison!!” Outraged, Omi entered the prison, looking for answers. Questions broiled in his mind... where are his friends? Where are the Sands of Time? How did Jack Spicer manage to accumulate so much power that he owned a prison?!

 

“There's nothin' like watchin' lions do what they do best to make an old, evil emperor to feel... uh, evil!” Jack Spicer crowed, then coughed and spluttered. 

“We have a special treat for our featured event later tonight!” cried one of announcer-bots. “The Spicer-tigers versus an oldy McGoody, back again for the very last time! How about a big evil welcome for... Omi!!”

While his imperial highness cheered, Omi found his old friends, Raimundo, Clay and Kimiko. But they were also elderly, which is why he did not recognise them immediately.

“What happened to you?” asked Raimundo.

“I was going to ask you the same thing!” cried Omi. 

“I remeber eithy years ago” explained Raimundo “just before master Fung picked a leader, you and Dojo disappeared!”

“But I did not disappear! I froze myself, so I could travel into the future so I could take to the old Omi! Where is old Omi?”

“There is no old Omi you dope!” Raimundo smacked him on the head.

“I don't think you fully grasped the time-space continuum, partner.” explained Clay slowly. “See, when you froze yerself, there was no Omi left behind to grow old.”.

“Ah...” said Omi, dismayed “Perhaps I did not think things through... but how did you end up in prison?”

“Times were tough when you disappeared” said Kimiko hoarsly “when the economy took a turn for the worse, master Fung went to Van Ness Unity Credit bank, and put the temple as collateral. I got arrested for vandalism and theft of the Shen Gong Wu, they discovered a drug trafficking ring under Clay's farm, and Raimundo was taken away for attempted murder of the Emperor.”

Omi looked torn.

“We were framed! Somehow, someone made it look like were guilty!” cried Kimoko.

“Except me” said Raimundo. “I really wanted to rip his head off.”.

Omi had one last question. “What did master Fung get arrested for?” he hesitantly inquired.

“Tax evasion."

 

***

 

Omi, Kimiko, Raimundo and Clay snuk out of the arena, only revealed themselves when they reached the courtyard. 

“We must hurry before we are discovered missing!” cried Omi.

But before they could sneak away, a familiar voice interjected:

“So! The rumours were true! A blast from the past!” 

“A sight for sore eyes...” interjected a sultry, smooth voice.

“Hannibal?! Wu Ya?!” What a state they were in... Wu Ya hanged from the wall, Hannibal Bean was locked in a cage labeled "Musical Fruit".

“Chase Young?!”

“I am pleased to see you after all these years Omi! I always knew our paths would cross again...” The dangerous threat looming behind his eyes fell apart at Chase Young's current situation... cuffed face-down, hanging mid-air, water dripping onto his head and an automated paint brush painted his abs yellow. 

“Our paths will cross again! But this time much, much sooner!” Omi declared with conviction. “But... how did you all get here?”

“Bank loan.” “Turned down politician's offer to be trophy wife.” “Owed mafia some money.” came the collective reply.

 

***

 

“Intruder alert!”

“When will you monks learn?! No one can defeat the evil emperor of darkness! Guard-bots! Attack!!”

“Wait!” cried Omi, and the scene froze.

“What, cheeseball?! I have a plan here!”

“How did you become emperor?! You are foolish, clumsy, empty-headed, stupid! You do not have the courage or the drive to become evil overlord!” 

Jack crossed his arms and smirked. “I did it the old-fashioned way. Joined dad's business at the bank, became a stock broker, became friends with the mafia, and went into politics.”


End file.
